Meet Gregory, a writer and the brains behind Face Dragons. He's the go-to guy for getting things done. Gregory's been living the digital nomad life in Asia for as long as anyone can remember, helping clients smash their goals. He writes on topics like software, personal knowledge management (PKM), and personal development. When he's not writing, you'll catch him at the local MMA gym, nose buried in a book, or just chilling with the family.
You don’t need to be a sigma male to face dragons and build a better life for yourself; you don’t even need to be a male. But the sigma male does embody many of the attributes we at Face Dragons want to incorporate. They’re focused, self-aware, and don’t care what anyone else thinks, so knowing how to become a Sigma male will get you closer to the life you want and the dragon’s gold!
What Is a Sigma Male and Why You Want to Be One
Sigma males are:
- The lone wolf
- Full of decisive charisma
In case you’re out of the loop, the sigma male is the new man everyone wants to be. He’s not at the top of the socio-sexual hierarchy; he’s so cool he’s not even in the ranking! So the alphas are left playing with each other while the Sigma male is out getting things done!
Unsurprisingly, everyone wants to know how to be a sigma male; most of them are successful in business and relationships, and they have money and the lifestyles any man would want. Elon Musk is a good celebrity example.
So in this article, I will explore what makes the Sigma male tick and the techniques you can employ to emulate him. Then, when they become second nature, you’ll know you’ve ascended and become a true Sigma male.
What Personality Type Are You?
No matter where you want to go in life, you must start where you are. That goes for making money, building muscle, and, yes, becoming a Sigma male. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and Big Five Personality test don’t recognize the sigma male, though they do test for his qualities. It’s the socio-sexual hierarchy you need.
So ask yourself, where on the socio-sexual hierarchy do you land right now? Then use the corresponding rules below to change personality types and your personality traits.
Alpha males are natural-born leaders. They’re able to rally the troops and enjoy the respect of the beta males beneath them. Alpha males are extroverts, so they prefer to surround themselves with other people and die to their commanding and charming ways; they manage to position themselves in charge.
An alpha male has much in common with a sigma, but where an alpha always has people around him, the sigma male prefers to be alone. They may lead, but they lead from afar. They charm but also know when to withdraw. It’s their introverted nature that makes them so mysterious and gives them the focus and drive to work while others are socializing.
So to transition from alpha to Sigma, you must follow rules one and two.
- Forget What Others Think
- Focus on You
The beta male is the alpha’s second in command; it’s not that they’re weaklings; they’re not. But they can’t muster the confidence that the alpha commands.
Beta males actually have a lot going for them; they work hard and are smart enough to be preferred by the leader. You can think of beta males as middle management; they’re doing well in life but are unable to get into the big office.
Beta males fail to rise to the highest ranks because they spend too much of it helping the alpha gain his position, and in return, they expect the alpha to look out for them. That’s fine if you don’t want to push yourself and fulfill your full potential, but beta males need to focus on rules four and five to achieve Sigma status.
- Take Full Responsibility
- Don’t Let Anyone Waste Your Time
The delta male is your average Joe. He goes to work on time (usually) and does what he’s supposed to, but he never excels or befriends the alpha and so never makes it as high as the beta.
The destination for an ambitious delta is becoming a beta male. Usually, that means just making a little more effort and developing some leadership skills that the alpha in their life (their boss, for example) will appreciate.
Instead of slowly climbing the rankings, you can forge your own path by becoming a Sigma male. Of course, this will be impossible for a delta who doesn’t want to change. But if you’re sick of being where you are and have the courage to shake your life up, turning yourself into a Sigma male is for you.
- Focus on You
- Take Full Responsibility
Some call the gamma male the explorer. He wants to go his own way and has no interest in settling down for a tedious corporate job. The problem with being a gamma male is that often, these traveling types forget to build themselves a life.
They spend a year in Cambodia teaching English, then 18 months in Thailand working for an NGO, followed by a couple of years in South America working at a bar and learning Spanish. They do get some unique experiences. But I lived as a digital nomad most of my adult life and have met many gamma males; at 40, they realize they don’t want to keep traveling, living out of a suitcase, and staying in hostels.
With no job, no partner, and no house, they feel like they are starting at square one. However, the skills they’ve picked up over the years can help turn them into successful sigma males.
- Focus on You
- Take Full Responsibility
However, the omega male is timid and easily pushed around. He probably wants to forge his own path, but instead, he retreats into his little world and stays there. He needs a slight personality trait to put him onto a Sigma grind set warpath.
- Say No
- Don’t Let Anyone Intimidate You
The zeta male is the latest addition to the hierarchy, so there are different opinions on what makes someone a zeta. Zetas are often associated with MGTOW, but this is the Sigma’s calling card. The way that I see zeta males is a sigma in training. They know where they want to go but haven’t fully committed yet.
The zeta male is very much “of this time” – understanding the changes in society about gender and feminism; the sigma male wouldn’t care about them; instead, they would just be who they are.
- Forget What Others Think
- Don’t Mess Up, Don’t Apologize
Follow the 7 Sigma Male Rules to Become a Sigma Male
Rule 1: Forget What Others Think
Remember Brad Pitt’s character in Fight Club? Do you think he asked people, “Are you in the line?” at the grocery store? Of course, he wasn’t, and if you want to be a sigma male like him, you need to stop worrying about what others think.
If you think that person isn’t waiting in line, just stand there, they’ll tell you if they were (or maybe they won’t.) You don’t need to act like a jerk or forget about your manners; you just don’t need to constantly walk on eggshells, wondering what others think or if you’ve offended them.
Do what you think is right, and you won’t go far wrong. Once you’ve mastered not caring what others think, it’s a huge weight off your shoulders and a massive time saver.
It took me a while to learn this, but after years of living in China, where people bump into you in the street, stand at the top of the escalator and think nothing of letting the door slam shut on someone walking directly behind them, I became desensitized.
Here are some things you need to take note of:
- Do first, ask later
- Put yourself first
- Break your bad habits (you know what they are)
Rule 2: Focus on You
Sigmas have an unquenching desire for progress and to get things done; in the big five personality theory, the characteristic is called conscientiousness. But because Sigma males are also introverted or extroverted introverts, they naturally tend to focus on themselves and constantly make themselves better.
This is not hard to emulate. Everyone has areas of their lives they can work on and new skills they can learn to push them even further. Jordan Peterson likes to use this question to help trigger areas for improvement.
“Sit on the edge of your bed and ask yourself, what stupid things am I doing to seriously screw up my life?”
The answer is a list of bad habits you need to stop.
Then fill the time with some better ones:
- Working Out
- Hobbies for men
- Developing skills
Rule 3: Don’t Mess Up, Don’t Apologize
Realizing the correct way to act in different situations doesn’t come easy or quickly; it takes years. But you can see patterns by calmly analyzing how people react to you.
Not messing up starts with your beliefs. You need to know what you think about different issues and ideas before you can act truthfully in the world. For example, if you make a comment about the latest political hot-button issue without having taken the time to understand both sides of it, you aren’t being truthful because you don’t know the truth.
The same is true for ethical issues; unless you prescribe to a specific moral philosophy or are religious, how can you ever make an ethical decision?
Being a sigma male doesn’t mean you can simply do whatever you want and to hell with the consequences; that wouldn’t get you very far. Instead, it means making the right decision even when others don’t understand or agree with you.
Inevitably things will go wrong. But when you made the right decision, and something went wrong anyway, you shouldn’t apologize. Apologizing is effectively saying you were wrong and you weren’t.
Rule 4: Take Full Responsibility
More 30-year-olds are living at home with Mom and Dad than ever before. Sure, they have their reasons.
- Houses are too expensive
- There are no good jobs
- Dating is too hard
But everyone knows you wouldn’t be homeless and hungry if you moved out of Mom and Dad’s. You’d make it work, somehow. That’s the way life is. Some horrible new situation comes along that you can’t deal with, but you adapt and learn to deal with it.
But if you hide away when new things appear, you’ll never become the person you could be.
The way you take on full responsibility is by building a business.
Rule 5: Don’t Let Anyone Waste Your Time
“Time is money,” “You’ll never get it back,” No matter which cliche you use, you’ll never fully communicate how valuable your time really is. And you won’t believe it until you are too old to do anything about it.
There’s not much you can do about it anyway, it’s not like you make the clock stand still, but you can give yourself more time by never letting anyone waste your time.
Here are three ways you can give yourself years more life to live
Delegate menial tasks
I get it when you have no money; paying someone to call the bank seems like a luxury you can’t afford. But don’t wait till you’re rolling in cash before you utilize delegation. Once you can afford it, you should get yourself a virtual assistant, and when you have more specific technical tasks, make them delegate to someone else.
When you have two or three people working for you, you become hyperproductive and can focus on the essential things.
Have you ever sat through a long boring meeting, knowing you didn’t want what was on offer? Rather than telling them you sat through the whole thing. You didn’t want to interrupt, or you thought it was more polite to let them finish.
After applying rule 1: Forget What Others Think, you’ll be walking out of a lot of pointless interactions. Of course, you can still be courteous: “This isn’t for me.” But don’t waste your life.
No need to become your new default. “You coming out to the bar?” “No.” “Could you help me with this paperwork?” “No,” “Are you free for a meeting tomorrow?” “No.”
No one respects a man with so little going on in their life that they will drop everything whenever you ask for a favor. Pretty soon, the people in your life will realize that you value your time, and they will stop asking.
Rule 6: Don’t Let Anyone Intimidate You
Despite not having the gravitas of an alpha male, to become a sigma male, you must learn bulletproof confidence. No matter what the situation, you can’t be intimidated. That’s how a sigma operates.
The only way to learn this is to regularly put yourself in intimidating situations until you get used to the pressure. Then, when you no longer get an adrenaline rush, no longer fumble your words, and are confident enough to walk towards rather than away, you know you’ve achieved sigma-hood.
An MMA gym is what you need.
You can put yourself against other men and learn the skills to become a sigma male.
The ability to fight will also increase your confidence and sharpen your mind. It’s also an excellent alternative to a regular workout.
The Alternative to the Sigma Male Lifestyle
The sigma male isn’t the only option for a man who wants to better himself. In fact, there are many alternative routes to take if you want to face dragons and take their gold back home. Maybe you just want to become more masculine? Here are some other alternatives: