Meet Gregory, a writer and the brains behind Face Dragons. He's the go-to guy for getting things done. Gregory's been living the digital nomad life in Asia for as long as anyone can remember, helping clients smash their goals. He writes on topics like software, personal knowledge management (PKM), and personal development. When he's not writing, you'll catch him at the local MMA gym, nose buried in a book, or just chilling with the family.
These Sigma Male rules will help you face dragons, conquer your goals and leave alpha males in their tracks. Even if you don’t count yourself as a sigma or want to become one, everyone can learn something from these ambitious, self-driven men. So read the Sigma male rules and get a little closer to who you want to be.
What Is a Sigma Male and Why You Want to Be One
The Sigma Male is the latest iteration of masculine energy. While few men can ever claim to be alpha males, his introverted counterpart, the sigma, is something any man can strive for. But what is a Sigma male?
After observing chimps, Frans de Waal described the hierarchy they lived in with the terms alpha, for the dominant male leader, and beta, for the subservient chimps that followed him. The idea was soon used to describe human relationships, and additional hierarchy levels were introduced to describe the various types of men in society. Here are the male personality types:
But there is one type of male that lives outside the hierarchy. He’s not subject to the alpha’s dominance, nor does he want to compete with the betas – he is the Sigma Male.
Sigma males have a set of characteristics that make them both high-value and immune from social pressures. They are often described as lone wolves or mysterious strangers. Their big five personality traits include:
- Low extroversion (High introversion)
- High in openness to experience
- High in Conscientiousness
- Low in agreeableness
- Low in Neuroticism
This is the personality test preferred by psychologists, but you’ll find a similar temperament if you used the Myers Briggs Type Indicator or some other test.
To become a Sigma male or to borrow some of their assertiveness or any other personality trait, you’ll need to follow the Sigma male rules below.
7 Sigma Male Rules You Must Follow
Rule One: Forget What Others Think
Sigma males are not sitting in bed at the end of the day worrying if they offended someone over lunch earlier.
They don’t have the time or energy to waste on what others think. They’ve got things to do!
Developing this kind of mental toughness can be challenging, but the key is a powerful goal. Your drive to make progress and achieve your goal will shield you from the negativity and problems of other people. If you’ve got nothing going on in your life, it will be hard not to focus on what others have to say.
Monk mode is an excellent solution to kick start your Sigma journey, remove all distractions, including contact with others, and focus on a single goal. When you complete your monk mode time, you’ll appreciate the power of forgetting what others think.
Rule Two: Focus on You
As introverts, sigma males are introspective, meaning they take the time to assess their thoughts and behavior. Progress is the motivator of most sigmas, and this doesn’t just mean building businesses and increasing their bank balance. They also want to make progress on themselves.
Personal development is a crucial part of the sigma male formula, and the way they thrive and build their strengths, even subconsciously, is by using this simple four-step process.
- Define a goal
- Ask, “Where am I deficient?”
- Ask, “How can I improve?”
- Do it!
Perhaps they figure out that they need to become a better salesperson to build their company or training on social media marketing or a task management system that works for them.
Books and training are often how to build these new skills to become more than who they are, but therapy or counseling may sometimes be necessary.
Rule Three: Take Full Responsibility
The phrase “take full responsibility” is used a lot, so much that it’s started to lose its meaning. Here are some ways you can think about it:
- You don’t live at home
- You pay all your bills
- You’re a reliable husband
- You’re a good father
- You never borrow money from anyone
Rule Four: Tell the Truth
One of the qualities you find among the sigma male personality type is honesty. To be a true sigma male, you must tell the truth or at least be honest about what you want.
It’s not only that you don’t lie.
If you want to quit your job and start something independently, you must be honest with yourself about that. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should just quit tomorrow. But you should be taking steps toward that goal. If you’re not, and you’re still going to work each day without a plan to make your dream a reality, you’re not being truthful to yourself. You’re not living out who you are. You’re living a lie.
Telling the truth also means saying the things you want to say. If someone is rude to you and you want to tell them off, do it. You might want to get to a place where it doesn’t bother you, but for now, be who you are.
Take another look at rule two and build up to the point that you can be who you are.
Rule Five: Don’t Waste Time
There are two substantial time wasters in everyone’s lives (and it’s not social media.)
One is other people, and the other is you.
The first is easy to remove. Figure out who doesn’t add anything and cut them out. For example, It might be the friends you only see at the bar to get drunk with or those who only want to moan about their lives and never do anything about it. We all have these people in our lives, identify them and be ruthless.
But it’s you that is the biggest time waster. You choose to do things you know you shouldn’t and avoid doing things you should. Most people are only running at half capacity, which means you could get twice as much done as you do now.
Part of that is doing the right things, but there are other skills you can learn to become more productive:
- Get a productivity system
- Schedule your time
- Remove hobbies and activities that don’t serve you
- Eat and sleep better for more energy
Rule Six: Don’t Get Intimidated
Intimidation might come from other people, but it can also come from large projects or tasks you want to get done. So you need two different strategies to overcome them.
Masculinity has always been wrapped up with size and strength. A while natural sigma males seem immune to the intimidation tactics of other men, some may use the gym as a tool to help them.
It’s a simple idea, the bigger you are, the less intimidated you will feel. All you need is a regular gym habit to make this happen.
Of course, it can take months and years to see significant progress in the gym, so supplement it with a manly hobby – martial arts. Find a martial art that regularly lets you spar or get in the ring. This time up against other men will make you realize that there’s not much to be scared of because you’ve done it before and have the skills to defend yourself.
I started training in martial arts when I was six, which helped me build confidence quickly. But, of course, it works the same for adults too.
For large projects and tasks, you must learn how to break them down into actionable steps. Those aren’t so intimidating.
Rule Seven: Spend Time Alone
Sigma males are introverted extroverts. They have no need to be the center of attention because they tend to be low in extroversion. It’s not that they are awkward, shy, anxious, or antisocial, though. They just prefer being alone. They have the charisma needed for social situations to talk to people or crowds when needed but usually need time to recharge afterward, which is typical among anyone with an introverted personality.
It’s this omnivert power they have that helps them be so productive. Building a successful business is hard if you spend all your time with friends and family. Extroverts have it hard. They need the attention of others to fuel them, but they have little time to get things done.
Spending time alone is the key that unlocks the other rules. You can’t focus on yourself or reflect on what you must do without the quiet of an empty room.